Psychology Professor Timothy D. Wilson suggests that writing your story of pain and tragedy will help you overcome, because labeling the experience and your reaction to it gives it life again. He says, “Once an emotional upheaval is put into words, it is easier for people to get past it. They sleep better, pay attention to other things in their worlds, and can become better friends to others.”
Soul wounds trigger intense, painful emotions, and there are too many people who deal with this pain by burying it.
When they do this, these emotions---and the beliefs they foster about self and others---are mummified, locking them into negative, rigid views of how relationships work and how they should behave.
When they do this, these emotions---and the beliefs they foster about self and others---are mummified, locking them into negative, rigid views of how relationships work and how they should behave.
Have you ever behaved using an angry outburst or a tearful exchange and blamed it on the person next to you? People may never consider that this event might only be a trigger of something deep inside them; that it might be a buried emotional memory that the current event set on alert, telling them to react as if the old memory just happened again.
If a person with a memory that is more than 2 years old, pulls that memory up to mind and still has an emotional reaction, that can mean that they have not fully articulated the memory. They haven’t analyzed it causally, they haven’t freed themselves from its grasp and they’re carrying it like a heavy weight. People will wear themselves down with this emotional baggage.
The brain responds by releasing cortisol, the hormone that can age us. There are people who literally look older than their age just due to long-term emotional baggage.
Cortisol is a component of adrenaline, which is known to accelerate heart rate, inhibit digestion, constrict blood vessels and decrease hearing and vision.
Cortisol production also increases blood pressure and blood sugar levels, hardens arteries, increases fat storage and lowers growth hormone. And when anxiety is prolonged — that is, when our fight/flight reaction goes on alert and remains there — our physiological systems elevate for longer periods of time and ultimately become counterproductive. The result? Our bodies wear down.
So if a person is still thinking about their past, it usually means that they have not organized the past to connect with the present properly. They are stuck in the past and have a hard time seeing the present for what it is.
It’s not a matter of forgetting our past, but rather why do we remember it? Is it to have an accurate and objective record of the past? No, it has nothing to do with that.
There is only one reason we are to remember the past: to be prepared for the future!
If people would consider their past and extract from it the wisdom gained, it would give them the ability to walk confidently, and not stumble blindly, into their present.
When a person asks themselves these two questions:
· Why did that happen, and
· How can I respond to it differently, their brain will reorganize the event.
Their brain won’t obsess over it any more, because the anxiety-producing past memory in their brain is telling them where the obstacles are in their environment. Their brain will now alert them appropriately about upcoming, potentially harmful events. They will be more likely to walk with confidence into their present with discerning thoughts like:
“Beware, there is danger ahead. Don’t go there. Be careful, you don’t won’t to get hurt again, do you? Don’t pay attention to that person.”
The purpose of their painful past is to assist them in becoming a master over future hazards. They become a victor over future potential pitfalls, not a victim of another stumble.
You see, many situations are either dangerous or not, depending upon your mastery. A fearful emotion associated with a memory is something that is crying out for mastery.
You see, many situations are either dangerous or not, depending upon your mastery. A fearful emotion associated with a memory is something that is crying out for mastery.
Writing can go a long way in helping a person reorganize their brain, especially when they write autobiographically. Imagine taking all of these emotions and thoughts and using them to help envision a brighter future. Now they become free from their past and they’ll quit thinking about it in hurtful ways.
Their soul won’t be trapped in the past but instead be free from the past and better prepared to live today!
