Have you ever been in a situation where your contributions to work, home, marriage, or family were judged as not enough? If your self-worth is attached to what you create or offer, the answer is that you may very well be devastated by a sense of shame that can cause you to withdraw or get angry: “I’m an idiot. That’s the last time I suggest an idea in a meeting” or “My idea may not be great, but it was better than yours!” or “Go ahead and talk to the kids yourself if you think I mishandled it.” Even if people love what you did, you then become a slave to the desire to keep pleasing. Either way, if you define yourself by what you do, you have put the power of your happiness in the hands of other people.